


Give Me Some Heaven

by eringilbert



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Moving On, Requited Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-25
Updated: 2019-11-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 21:46:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21556030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eringilbert/pseuds/eringilbert
Summary: Richie moves on, but Eddie is never forgotten
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Richie Tozier/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 33





	Give Me Some Heaven

**Author's Note:**

> for logan, my moon and stars
> 
> (title taken from spring by angel olsen)

Everything was falling apart. 

Of course, it honestly was not. This was simply a bump in the road, but how could Richie understand that right now? There he was, gripping the toilet seat with an iron grip and trembling like he was a chihuahua in a haunted house. Sure, he heard the knocks and a soft voice telling him to take his time coming from the bedroom, but he didn’t pay any mind. All he really focused on was the fact that he was not only betraying Eddie, but also the man waiting for him outside of the door. 

When Eddie...passed on that fateful day in Derry, Richie was devastated. Perhaps even more than he has ever felt before. However, as soon as he finished carving their initials again in the Kissing Bridge, he felt a newfound sense of hope.  _ Eddie would not want him to be like this _ , he thought to himself. And with that, he vowed to both him and Eddie that he will change. He cleaned his small Chicago apartment of all of his cigarettes, liquor, and unnecessary painkillers. Of course, he soon realized that going completely cold turkey would not work out in his favor, so he began seeking counseling.

And that was when Richie met Colin.

Colin Oswald was Richie’s sponsor, recommended to him by his counselor and psychiatrist. He was the same age as Richie, had been sober from alcohol for four years, and operated a very successful mocktail bar. Although having a relatively famous person seeking your help had taken Colin some getting used to, they eventually fell into a comfortable pattern. He helped to evade the paps away from his apartment, comforted him during the worst of his withdrawals, and even invited him to his family’s Thanksgiving dinner. Richie would send pictures of their outings to the Losers group chat, attaching ridiculous captions and emojis with them.

Richie had expected to form a tight and personal bond with Colin. What he did not expect, however, is to develop feelings for him. It had all started when Richie had decided to finally tell Colin about Eddie. He knew that he sounded like he was off his rocker, but there was no real way for him to truly know without telling him the entire truth. 

_ “I’m not entirely sure what to say,” Colin whispered to Richie, the two of them laying on Richie’s couch, the TNT reshowing of Revenge of the Sith long forgotten.  _

_ Richie managed to give a chuckle at that, despite his chest feeling like it was going to explode any second. “Why do you think I never told anyone else?” he answered meekly. It was true; he had always said that Eddie died in a freak car accident. He knew that if he told any of his doctors or managers that a demonic entity from space that terrorized him and his friends for their entire lives, he would be sent to a hospital.  _

_ Colin took a deep breath. “But I knew there was something you weren’t telling me. Something that was important, and all I really care about is that you’ve finally told me.” For the first time since he had told him about Eddie’s death, Richie smiled. Sure, he didn’t entirely expect for Colin to understand or believe him. All Richie really wanted was for him to care, and he did.  _

_ Colin pulled Richie in for a hug, and something strange happened. Richie felt warm. He felt like he was being protected and cared for. It was something that still felt so foreign to him, especially when he thought he briefly caught the outline of an average sized man smiling at him as he was in Colin’s embrace. _

After that night, Richie realized that Colin meant more to him than just a sponsor or friend. He wasn’t entirely sure if he loved him, but he wanted him in his life. And as fate would provide it, Colin felt the same way.

It all happened on New Years Eve, six months after Richie and Colin had met. Richie organized a private get-together at Colin’s bar with the Losers and a couple of Richie’s closest industry friends, while Colin had encouraged his staff to mingle. It was certainly a sight to behold; Beverly and Ben chatted with John and Annamarie about the former’s newest Soho apartment, Mike and Phoebe were passionately arguing about which Pinter play was his magnum opus, and Bill seemed to be negotiating a deal with Kristen for her to star in his newest adaptation. Everything felt perfect and in its own place, something that Richie had not felt in a very long time.

_ Somebody had alerted the group that it was getting very close to midnight. Richie was not entirely sure who said it, as he and Colin suddenly locked eyes. The air seemed to tighten a little bit between them. However, the tension broke when Colin tilted his head to the left, indicating that he wanted to talk to the other man. _

_ They found themselves in the kitchen of the bar. Since they did not serve a lot of food and mainly focused on mocktails, it was not particularly the biggest kitchen, but it still gave Colin and Richie the space they needed. It was Richie who placed it upon himself to break the silence. Outside, however, they had begun chanting the countdown. _

_ TEN! _

_ “Listen, I just wanted to tell you-” _

_ NINE! _

_ “You’ve done so much for me-” _

_ EIGHT! _

_ “And I know these past six months have been crazy-” _

_ SEVEN! _

_ Colin interrupted Richie, saying “I’ve had worse, dude.” _

_ SIX! _

_ Richie got back on track. “It’s just, man, things have been-” _

_ FIVE! _

_ “Really fucking good between us and-” _

_ FOUR! _

_ Colin looked at Richie with a confused face, with those slender and shimmering eyes of his. _

_ THREE! _

_ “So I wanted to know, would you, uh, like to-” _

_ TWO! _

_ “Go on a less, uh, professional meetup?” _

_ ONE! _

_ Before Richie had thought to take back anything, Colin’s lips crashed with his. Although the initial impact was hard and unexpected, the two men fell into a nice and comfortable rhythm. It wasn’t the hungry, anticipating makeout session Richie had far too many dreams about, but rather it was nervous and careful. Neither Colin nor Richie fought for dominance or even anything sexual. It was perfect. _

_ HAPPY NEW YEAR! _

_ Just like he initiated it, Colin was the one who broke off first. He still had his eyes closed when they separated, but eventually opened his eyes and looked up at Richie. He smirked as he said, “Yeah, I think I’ll take you up on that meeting.” The two of them started laughing, Colin’s laugh sounding like a song that Richie could listen to all day. As the two of them left the kitchen, Richie turned around to switch off the light, only to be greeted with the outline holding up what looked like a glass as if he was doing a toast. _

It was now a year since that night and Richie had decided to do something radical. After discussing it with the Losers and his psychiatrist, he had decided to propose to Colin. Colin gave him the motivation to write new material, was his newest muse, and was just everything that Richie could ask for and more. He was Richie’s sun, something he thought he could never experience again after Eddie’s death. 

And that was precisely why he was now doubled over the toilet, dry heaving until his organs gave out. Richie was experiencing doubt for the first time since Derry. Sure, he always missed Eddie and always will, but he thought that Eddie would want him to be with Colin. But what if he hadn’t? What if he was actually upset at Richie, and didn’t think that Colin was good enough for him? What if Richie really couldn’t fully move on, and what if he was destined to forever be the Juliet who couldn’t bring himself to join his Romeo?

Colin’s voice emerged again from behind the door. “Dove,” he carefully said using Richie’s favorite pet name, “you don’t have to let me in just yet. You don’t even have to let me in at all, but just at least tell me how you’re feeling right now.” His voice quivered slightly, causing Richie’s heart to break even more than it already was. 

Richie coughed, slowly responding, “Could be better, I suppose.” He gave a chuckle, not unlike the one he uttered the night he told Colin about Eddie, but this time Colin didn’t chuckle back. He must’ve had that face he makes when he’s particularly upset, the one that’s all puppy eyes along with a quivering mouth, teeth clamped tightly down. Richie hated seeing Colin upset, and wished he could comfort him right now, but his knees remained glued to the bathroom tile. After he heard a sniff come from the other side, Richie once again heard Colin’s voice. 

“I’ll stay right here. Just let me know when you’re ready, dove,” Colin whispered. God, Richie loved and hated how careful Colin was. He didn’t think of Richie like a porcelain doll, but he knew that even the smallest things have the potential to have a negative impact. “It won’t be long, babe,” Richie responded in a similar whisper, “I promise.” 

Richie felt his knees loosen up just a little, allowing him to slowly crawl to the door. He gave the door two knocks, their sign for reassurance. When Richie’s PTSD got really bad, they used this system. It basically meant “I mean what I say, don’t worry, it’ll pass soon.” Richie leaned his head against the door as Colin knocked back. It wasn’t until then that he remembered the ring box in his pants pocket, resting uncomfortably too close to his crotch. He smirked at the fact that a simple thing like this fucking ring could give him this much anxiety, and it made him feel a little silly. He closed his eyes as he listened to Colin’s breathing behind the door.

_ Ask him. _

There he was. Eddie, leaning up against the wall facing Richie. He looked so clean, free of the injuries and blood that covered him the last time Richie saw him. Most importantly, though, he was happy. Richie smiled as he smiled, tears forming in both of their eyes.

_ I _ _ know the ring is in your pocket. Just ask him, asshole.  _

Eddie didn’t move his mouth, but Richie heard his voice. The smaller man approached him, reaching into Richie’s pocket to grab the box. He held it up, handing it to Richie.

_ You two deserve each other. Seriously. Colin is a good man.  _

_ I love you, Rich. _

Now, Richie was completely choked up. Eddie approved. Eddie wanted him to be with Colin. He was the figure that was guiding him this whole time. How could he be so blind? How could he be so worried about Eddie disapproving when he’s the one who led him to Colin in the first place?

Through his tears, Richie managed to whisper one last sentence: “I love you, Eds.” And with that, Richie opened his eyes, and Eddie was gone. 

Colin's voice took him out of his stupor. "Dove?" he asked, "are you feeling better?" Richie didn't realize that he said that out loud, but knowing Colin, he probably knew that he had calmed down when he mentioned Eddie. "Yes, I am," Richie said back in a regular speaking tone, "I'm feeling a lot better."

Colin could tell he was telling the truth by the way he opened the door and held out the ring, and he knew even further from the way he delicately slid the ring on Colin's finger when he accepted the proposal. However, the thing that made him know that Richie was feeling better was the fact that he gave him the same slow and careful kiss they exchanged that fateful New Years Eve. 

Now, even Colin could see the strange figure standing behind Richie, wiping a tear from its eye with the biggest smile possible.

**Author's Note:**

> this is probably gonna be my last fic ever. probably won't delete this account but i'm definitely not interested in writing fic anymore and i've adapted my failed fics into original story ideas. however, i just had to write this specifically for the it fandom.
> 
> also, i didn't really have anyone in mind for colin tbh. the closest faceclaim i could muster is gay bearded andy bean in that one show that got cancelled. you can basically imagine him as anyone you like though, so shippers go wild. 
> 
> richie deserves happiness, point blank. i feel like there aren't a whole lot of non-fix it fics that focus on richie's happiness after derry and i wanted to fix that. after all, didn't eddie and stan teach him that he should not hide who he is anymore and to be brave no matter what?
> 
> anyways, thanks for reading this. it really means a lot and writing fanfiction has helped me develop my writing in ways i cannot describe. as cursed as this site can become, it was essential for me as a writer and a person. take care, friends.
> 
> sincerely,  
> erin (although my last name is not gilbert, that's just a ghostbusters reference)


End file.
